A visit to Chessington Zoo.

Zoological Antics

Many years ago there used to be a large Zoo at Chessington, which is a small town located a few miles south of Kingston-on-Thames. I thought it had closed down years ago but I see from the Internet that there is still a zoo in Chessington. Whether its the same one, I do not know. Anyway, one day my wife and I decided to have a day out there with the animals. We were living in Wokingham at the time, which is sixteen miles further to the west, so Chessington was within easy reach. It was a lovely day, I remember, and the visit provided us with a variety of memories that will never be forgotten for as long as we both live.

The fun started almost as soon as we got into the zoo proper because, near the entrance were a number of animal enclosures, one of them containing three dromedary camels (these are the ones with a single hump). When we arrived on the scene, two keepers were already in the enclosure. They were both young men but one clearly was the qualified keeper while the other was a trainee. The qualified keeper was explaining to the trainee that it was his intention to go into the animals inner sleeping quarters to clean them out and he wanted the trainee to use a long, very substantial length of wood to prevent the bull camel getting into the sleeping quarters while he was also inside. Having issued his instructions, the keeper went into the sleeping quarters while the trainee, after picking up  the length of wood,  stood in the doorway to the sleeping quarters brandishing the wood like a weapon. Suddenly, the bull camel decided he wanted to go into the sleeping quarters and ignoring the length of wood the trainee was waving in its face, he simply pushed past the hapless trainee and went inside. Moments later the keeper burst out of the sleeping enclosure looking thoroughly frightened.
‘Why didn’t you use the length of wood I gave you to stop the camel coming in?’ he demanded.
‘I tried to but he seemed to know I wouldn’t hurt him and he just pushed past me.’
‘That wooden bar wasn’t supposed to be used as a weapon,’ the exasperated keeper yelled. ‘You were supposed to put across the doorway to stop him getting in when I was inside.’
The sizable audience to the farce were, by this time, falling over laughing at the pair.

We left the pair to it and carried on to see what other entertainment the zoo had to offer. An hour later, we had almost forgotten the pair when we noticed a commotion in front of us. As we drew near we could see the same pair now on goose walking duties. Edinburgh zoo has its famous penguin walk and I suppose Chessington wanted its own visitor attraction. If so, they had chosen the wrong pair to put in charge of the event or perhaps they should have chosen more biddable animals than the geese they had chosen to herd. The geese clearly had minds of their own and the two keepers, equally clearly, had no idea how to keep them under control. There was much racing about and shouting but the pair were clearly no sheep dogs. Once again they were doing no more than provide a hugely entertaining spectacle for the paying public.

You might have thought that the disasters they had supervised thus far might have been enough for the pair for one day, but more was to come. By chance we arrived at the ostrich enclosure when the pair arrived to feed the birds so we overheard all the instructions the senior keeper gave to the trainee. The enclosure was possibly two hundred yards long by about twenty yards wide and in it were five or six female birds and one fine looking male bird. All the birds were at the far end of the enclosure and we could clearly see them from outside the enclosure but the first fifty yards inside the enclosure went into a small valley and whoever was in the valley couldn’t see the birds.
The keeper explained the geography of the enclosure to his trainee, adding, ‘So, when I’m inside, I won’t be able to see the ostriches and that male bird is a bit nasty and doesn’t like people coming into his enclosure. So I want you to keep an eye on him and to warn me if he starts coming towards me, O.K? Do you think you can do that?’
‘Yes, I can do that. You can rely on me.’
With those reassuring words ringing in his ears, the keeper took a couple of bags of feed and went into the enclosure. My wife and I stood watching, wondering what could possibly go wrong, because we were, by now, confident something would go wrong.
Cautiously the keeper walked towards the feeding troughs which were some forty yards into the enclosure while we all kept our eyes on the male ostrich which was quietly minding its own business at the far end of the enclosure. As the keeper began pouring feed into the troughs, the male bird suddenly stood upright and looked back to where the troughs were. We all held our collective breaths. He must have heard something suspicious because he slowly began walking back up the field.
‘He’s beginning to walk back,’ the trainee called softly. But clearly, the keeper hadn’t heard because he kept on pouring the feed into the troughs. But the ostrich had and he broke into a run.
‘He’s running back,’ the trainee screeched,’ This time the keeper did hear and grabbing up all his bags he began running back to safety. By this time the ostrich was in full flight and with wings extended he literally flew over the ground. He was far faster than the keeper and was gaining on him hand over fist. Rather unnecessarily, the trainer yelled, ‘he’s gaining on you.’ The keeper eventually made it back to safety with seconds to spare.
That was the last we saw of that pair but they had certainly made our visit to Chessington Zoo a memorable one. I have often wondered if their antics were well orchestrated to amuse the public or if the pair really were as incompetent as they appeared to be. Sadly, the Chessington Zoo we knew is no more. I believe the new one is like so many other amusements and is less a zoological garden that it is an amusement park. Whatever it is now, it couldn’t provide more hilarity that it did on our visit all those years ago.

Bernard Gallivan
February 2021